“Mom, you’re such a control freak”

smilingtomyself

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My oldest teased me about this recently.  She thinks it is funny that I am so nice and yet I internally freak out when I know I have zero say or control over something.  It’s why I have been a bad passenger at times when my children drive.  I mean, I tailgate too, but when I do it my foot is on the gas/break.

I don’t like the way I tend to respond to helplessness.  I don’t like the way it makes me cry at inopportune times or have this weird, someone just punched the breath out of me, feeling, or how I have to count when I inhale and exhale at night (in-2-3-4-, out-2-3-4) to keep that tingly chest, spot in my eyes feeling at bay.

My first boyfriend was named Bryan.  He was a funny, somewhat shy, but very kind 16-year-old who took me on my first real car…

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About livedinitaly

Love food and traveling. Breaking out of this introvert shell by expressing my thoughts, experiences and feelings.
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